Life without Mr. Frank in the Clubhouse
Remember that I intended to leave the CH but then failed three times before I discovered/heard/met this voice from a faceless person, Mr. Frank?
“I have actually not used any other platforms of social media.” The voice said one night, “I was told that the CH is a voice-based App and thought it might be good for my son to learn Chinese with it. So I decided to sign up and check it out. Soon I found I quite like it because compared to other text- or image-based platforms, this App can convey people’s ideas more efficiently as we usually speak faster than we type. More importantly, it is harder for people to pretend to be someone else when they speak. Thus I believe that our voices would represent us more truthfully.”
I agree, which was exactly why I had not spoken a single word even after having played with the App for a month!
“I have played it for a while now and begun to see the drawbacks.” He continued, “I am going to take a break and I may pass the account to my son, who is only 10 and can’t speak much Chinese. I am not sure whether he will be interested in using this App to learn Chinese, but I hope he will.”
What did I just hear? A break? For how long? For good?
I was just beginning to get into a habit of listening to him. In fact, his discussions with his usual crowd have become the only reason that I kept coming back for more of the CH. He has already completely ingrained his voice into my head. I could always single him out of the crowd whenever he opens his mouth, even in large rooms of over hundreds of ppl, not only because of the unique sonic effect of his voice but mostly also because of his superb storytelling talent, his mind-manipulating skill, his finely-modulated speaking style, as well as his well-crafted and life experience-based stories.
Mr. Frank has made all other speakers in the CH seem plain and boring.
I imagined him as the most charming Chinese man that I could have ever encountered. Well, let’s be honest, “encounter” would be a wrong word to use here, as I know too well that Chinese guys like that would have never come close to me in real life. As I, according to the Chinese standard, am not a beautiful girl.
“Please go ahead speaking freely and don’t hesitate to ask me questions. This could be the last time that I speak here, in a while, you are welcome to hit me with any tough questions. I promise to give you my most sincere and honest answers.” His heartfelt invitation got few speakers on the stage and they inquired more questions about the reasons for his decision to “take a break”.
“I have already fully expressed what I wish to say here and I have nothing more to add.” He further explained to his cult. “I know myself too well and I know that I prefer DOing things much more to TALKing about things.” He reiterated, “I wish to take actions because this way I can feel and see the changes that my actions lead to. Maybe this is because of the fact that I used to be constructing and operating factories in my younger life, I know talking about ideas can only take us this far.”
He sounded reasonable and determined.
After having heard a few more questions and answers, I finally decided to take a chance to see whether I could convince him to stay. Nervously, I raised my hand and immediately got invited on the stage, for the first time in my one-month CH life! I felt several little rabbits jumping in my stomach. Having been a good listener ever since that magical night of Feb. 28th, 2021, I was ready to tell him, in my own words, how much I enjoyed his empathetic, kind, patient, and even inspiring words. I was going to let him know that I would not mind hearing his life stories, over and over again. I was going to tell him that I felt sad for those who haven’t yet had a chance to hear him. I was getting ready to tell him that we, his hardcore fans, would have some interesting life stories, which he might find beneficial or at least entertaining, to share with him as well, and I was also going to offer him a solution to his dilemma — “You don’t have to show up every day, just show up every now and then, say, once a week, and stay only for 2 hours each time.”- I thought this would be a great suggestion!
Unfortunately, the above thoughts had just stayed as thoughts, not a voice — I still felt awkward and inadequate to speak in a faceless CH in the end.
“It’s too bad that we are not destined to be together.” I thought to myself and watched the room closed in front of my eyes.
Mr. Frank left the room and he had taken a piece of my heart away.
In the next few days, I was marinating what I had retained in my head from his talks, “I wish one day that we all will meet in that new free world. When that day comes, I promise that you will know who I truly am.”
Then, I uninstalled CH App for the fourth time.
Yet, a few hours later, I reinstalled it.
I went back to the CH because I was willing to bet that this Mr. Frank would come back to “see” us one day and I certainly would not want to miss it, if and when that occurred. I would like to believe that he was a human after all and his humanity would not allow him to stay away from his fans for too long. He must have felt about us the same way as we feel about him, with equal intensity. I believe that as a human, he needs us just as much as we need him.
And most importantly, I truly believe that I would have a chance to let him get to know something about myself, just for a little bit.
Believe it or not, there was a God who listened to us and sent Mr. Frank back! About a week after he left the CH, in one morning around 4 am, I heard this familiar voice above my head. It must be him, it was him, I thought, with my sleepy mind. Dame, it is the best time for my beauty sleep. Can’t he choose a better time to get back here?!
I couldn't help but take a peek at the speaker in the CH App. Sure enough, it was Mr. Frank! He was back! I was over the moon. Then, I spent the next few sleepless nights and workless days with Mr. Frank and his few hardcore fans — a story to be continued.
